A new craze for celebrity extortion is sweeping America.
The Letterman scandal appears to have opened the floodgates for every slimeball out there to extort money from celebrities. Edis Kayalar, a recently deported German fashion model, has demanded $100,000 from Cindy Crawford, threatening to release a pic of her then seven-year-old daughter, bound to chair. (It was, apparently, part of a game of Cops and Robbers.) Pictures of Cindy, who is 43, are one thing. (As with these bikini shots we posted a while back, the public has a right to see know.) But her children? Not so much.
Joshua Basso is looking for love in all the wrong places. The 29-year-old Tampa man ran out of cell phone minutes but was feeling randy, so he called the only number he could: 911.
When Basso heard a female operator on other end of the phone, he said some dirty things – and then asked if he could come over to her place. (Meaning, perhaps, the 911 dispatch centre?) The operator, of course, promptly hung up on him. So Basso called back. Four times.
He’s currently being held in a Tampa jail, where, presumably, he’s feeling a lot less randy.
Thanks to the team from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, your trips to the beach will never be the same.
The aptly named Dick Towel is a new spin on an old classic, taking novelty trompe l’oeil clothing to its logical next step. The towel depicts both humble and grandiose cartoon wangs for maximum comedic effect. Scandalizing families at the beach has never been easier!
Order your (NSFW) Dick Towel – or at least watch the hilarious clip – now!
Dock Ellis’s baseball career is remembered for many things, but none more than the legendary no-hitter he threw on June 12, 1970, allegedly under the influence of LSD.
Ellis had been partying with friends in L.A. under the false assumption that he had the next day off. He awoke the next morning, still stoned, to some surprising news: He was set to pitch in a few hours. And pitch he did, shutting down the San Diego Padres in spite of his heavily drugged-up state.
Some clever animators have put pictures and words to Dock’s epic story.
The courts have spoken: Taking magic mushrooms and pounding multiple cocktails entitles you to do just about anything…if you’re a sexsomniac, that is.
Toronto man Jan Leudeck was found not criminally responsible for a sexual assault he committed while “asleep” at a house party. Though Leudeck had been up all night, eating magic mushrooms, and downing sixteen (16!) drinks, our courts bought the argument that it was his rare condition of sexsomnia – having sex with people in his sleep – that led to the assault.
Let’s hope he stays sober – and very well-rested.
You must be logged in to add a submission.