Faced with the challenge of luring coveted Valentine’s Day diners, some restaurants are embracing the oldest standby of all: sex. Mildred’s Temple Kitchen in Toronto is encouraging diners to embrace the awkward and uncomfortable possibilities of washroom coitous, because nothing invites lovemaking like a hard ceramic surface, cold metal faucets and toilet water. Sounds like fun; but, please, remember to wash your hands.
There’s more to the Super Bowl than blockbuster commercials (for example: the football between them, or the rock act phoning it in for half-time), but still, they’re pretty irresistible. The pain of missing these commercials isn’t new to Canadian fans who for years have been deprived of the spots airing on American networks. But there are some ads our American friends have also missed out on. Too violent, too sexy, or just too much fun, these Super Bowl gems didn’t make the cut.
The glory days of the car chase may be gone, but they aren’t forgotten. That cloud of fumes, those screeching tires, the exploding fruit stands – car chases from the 1970s had everything. Sure, we get a glimpse of the lost art of the hot pursuit in The Bourne Identity, the drag race in The Fast and the Furious, and the vendetta run-down in Tarantino’s retro throwback Death Proof, but they just don’t make ‘em like they used to.
With the relentless heat, the cutting edge fashion, and the occasional hail of bullets, it’s hard to stay looking good in parts of South America. Miguel Caballero, a tailor in the Colombian city of Bagota, has found a balance: a sharp suit that can stop a bullet. He counts the presidents of Peru, Columbia, Brazil, and Venezuela among his esteemed, and recently bullet-proofed, clients. Also, Steven Seagal, which is surprising, because we always thought he could catch a bullet in his bare bands.
We wish Miguel the best of luck, but hope we never see the day when Canada needs his handiwork.
The epic long bombs, the shameless touchdown dances, the bone-crushing tackles: what would the greatest moments of the Super Bowl be without the sweet relief of the league’s finest ladies? Place your bets on the most important competition of the game: the cheerleader showdown.
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