Q: Is there a stylish strategy for a receding hairline and thinning on top? I’m a professional in a creative field and I’m loathe to adopt the faux-hawk of my younger coworkers. On the other hand, my head shape and heavier build make shaving it all off undesirable. It wouldn’t look cool, or business-appropriate — more like a mob enforcer.

A: I had never thought of the faux-hawk as a means of dealing with thinning hair but I suppose it is a possibility, because it is cropped on the sides, and the little hair you have on top could be stiffened like a little coxcomb. But, see, the second I start describing it, it does sound ridiculous.

Any hairstyles that are designed to disguise a lack of hair end up being obvious in their intent; the cover-up is always a little sad, just because it is so lacking in confidence. I’m sorry to say that you really have no options here but baldness, and in order to make the most of baldness you must own it; you must embrace it with great pride, and no compromises.

I understand your nervousness about the look of a giant guy with a shaved head. It’s certainly intimidating, but it’s a whole lot better than a giant guy with a wispy comb-over or a frantically gelled brush-cut (the look you might call The Mange). Be a big bald happy guy and everyone will love you for it. Just avoid the New Jersey accent, and no one will imagine you as a bouncer.

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Image courtesy of WadeB.