Q: I recently received an invitation to a dinner that read “Black tie optional.” I consulted a formal wear rental shop and was advised that if I didn’t want to wear a tuxedo I could rent a black suit. I also have my own very smart grey suit I could wear. Which is appropriate?

A: What do people do with their Saturday mornings? It takes exactly two minutes to read this column and I have been answering this question for the past five years here at DailyXY. How is it possible that hosts to continue to baffle their friends with these confusing party invitations?

OK, one more time: “Black tie optional” is not helpful. It usually means the hosts want a black tie party but don’t want to force anyone impecunious to spend money on an outfit. The bottom line is that they do want you to dress formally, but of course they will not turn anyone away or make anyone feel uncomfortable about it. This should go without saying: Simple dress codes are always meant to be helpful, not stern. The rental shop is stringing you a line about the black suit; if you don’t want to wear a dinner jacket then your smart grey suit is acceptable.

Still, why not use this excuse to dress like a movie star for once? It’s fun! And forget about renting: Invest in your own dinner jacket and you will wear it forever; it never goes out of style.

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Image courtesy of delphwynd.