What’s the best way to ask a guy out?
Any way. There is no bad way.
Think about it: are we such sensitive and neurotic flowers that we might be rendered frigid by a forward woman, or even by an awkward approach? Imagine a guy saying, “I was watching this woman at a party, and she was really hot, but then she came over and asked me my name and if I was single and, well, that just ruined it for me.”
We don’t worry about how it’s done. We are simply grateful that it is ever done at all.
Once you have met a man, in any way you can, there is no wrong time – no time too soon, no time too late — to say, simply and straightforwardly, “Listen, I don’t know if you’re single or not, but if you are, would you like to see me some other time?”
Yes, the single part, awkward as it is, is important. Some of us, it must be admitted, will carefully avoid answering that question unless it is expressly posed. Put it out there front and centre so it can’t be avoided.
So the asking out is the easy part. It’s perhaps the meeting that’s most difficult. Most people meet because they are introduced my mutual friends or colleagues. It’s hard breaking the ice with strangers. Here’s how guys do it: You find yourself standing next to the target – at the bar, at the cash desk, in the elevator. You make eye contact and smile. Then you say something, anything. “This elevator is always slow,” you say. Or, “Great show, but the crowds were intense.” Or (to bartender) “No, this lady was first,” then (to her) “What would you like?” Then you get a response and you keep it going, any way you can.
Don’t worry about saying something serious or interesting. Inanity is your friend here. Just chatter. If she is up to this keep-the-ball-rolling game, then you have a target lock. You then stick your hand out, and with a winning smile you say, “I’m Sebastian.” (Or Erica, as needed.) If the target responds with an outstretched hand and a name in return, it means your crosshairs on the HUD are illuminated and the “target lock” tone beeping: you are cleared to engage. For you women, that means you say, “Listen, if you are single, I would love to see you again. Would you like my phone number?” Then, your ordnance dropped, you roar back to base on full afterburners.
Is it risky? Yup. Is there a possibility of crushing humiliation, if you friendly tone is met by a frosty one? Absolutely. Welcome to the adrenaline-filled, roller-coaster world of sexual confidence. There’s no life like it.
Image courtesy of seleniamorgillo on Flickr.
